The single life goes by quick! Three years, and counting. And that’s a fact!
I can’t really sum the experience up in one line (yet), but I can say that life, for me, is all about transformation and growth. So I’m appreciating this time for self-assessment and reaffirmation.
Now some random notes on how I’m feeling at this stage of the process:
⇒ I’m starting to find well groomed beards really attractive. Low beards though. Not the Santa-Clause-Rick-Ross-scratch-your-cheek-when-you-kiss-type-beards. No.
⇒ I can’t stand a mumbling man. If I can’t understand what you’re saying (“WHAT?!”), I become annoyed, uninterested, and disengaged from the conversation. I love it when a man can talk to me in plain language in an audible tone, and express himself in a clear manner. That shit is so sexy.
⇒ I need a man who works out. I know… I never know what kind of packaging “the one” will show up in… But discipline is attractive and so are firm male bodies. I love that kind of masculinity. If anyone’s gonna be soft and mushy, it’s me. Aside from that, I want a partnership wherein we motivate one another to keep health and fitness at the forefront of our relationship. That’s winning.
⇒ I still appreciate honesty, although I get why men tend to think women can’t handle it. Oftentimes we can’t. And we trip. Hell, I’ve tripped on occasion. But we’re still entitled to the truth on issues that concern us – and especially if we are engaging in relations. (Here’s my advice on handling honest men.)
⇒ I’ve become a man watcher. When I was in a relationship, I really didn’t see other men. Like, they existed, but not in my head space. They’d speak and I’d barely speak back. So being single has been sort of a de-conditioning process. A well-defined, broad back turns me on. And I won’t name names, but this one man I know has the best hamstrings I’ve ever seen in the flesh during my time here on Earth. They must protrude about five inches from the back of his thigh. (Deep breath.)
⇒ I think I have a deeper appreciation for men and all the manly grunt work they do. (I get my own car serviced nowadays.) Shout out to all the maintenance men! I’m watching you. I’m appreciating nice cologne. I’m analyzing your gait, and sizing you up. I could tell you other things I appreciate (dear lawd!), but I’m keeping this PG!
⇒ I watch women and couples too. But as a writer, I pay attention to all kinds of people all kinds of human interaction. I do.
⇒ For more on what I look for in a potential candidate, read this.
Ladies, chime in. Tell me something you love about men. Please don’t be confined by your sexual orientation. Comments are open!
What about the value in spending time alone, and appreciating being single? Or appreciating whatever relationship stage you’re in? Any thoughts on that? Anyone?
Categories: Blogging, Random Thoughts
I think that most of what you said can be applied to what I find attractive in women. I love an intelligent, well read woman. I love a woman who is in shape and keeps me motivated to stay in shape.
LikeLike
Ooooh, nice! Hmm, the way you wrote that does sound attractive. Wait, I see myself in that description! Lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love a man who smells good, and has a deep aggressive voice and strong arms and soft smooth chocolate skin smh I just had a visual moment lol.
LikeLike
Umm, girl you’re making me go there now! All that sounds so delicious. Lol
LikeLike
See? We look for things in others that we like about ourselves. 🙂 BTW, I liked the comment about being a man watcher. It’s kind of like cars, isn’t it? When you’re not in the market for a new automobile, you just don’t look. 😉 That may be a idea for a new post – why men and cars are similar. lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Love the analogy re cars! And good point. Hmm, I never considered that I was looking for things in others that I like about myself. It’s definitely the best feeling when someone challenges and inspires you to be your best. Anything else – why bother?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! Why bother? Life is too short. Yes, I love being challenged, pushed, to be my best. It helps to keep the relationship moving, going forward. Stagnation is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship, IMO.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So agreed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m really attracted to a man who can give me the best of both worlds. As in, he’s an all around good guy but has a little bad boy in him and knows how to turn it on/off when necessary. Of course there’s more but I’ll leave it at that! Lol
LikeLike
Love it! I’m sure there’s MUCH more! On Sep 18, 2014 5:10 PM, “My Female Persuasion” wrote:
>
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, you’re not the only one…women naturally like, love men….for whatever purpose!
LikeLike
Actually, what I mean is women naturally like and love men…. for whatever rhyme and reason (sounds better). Rock on, sister!
LikeLike
Thanks you!
LikeLike
I just want someone who’s a good human being, preferably my size (skinny) but I’m open minded. Reasonable honesty is a good virtue and should be appreciated. It’s important to find someone that although may not always do well, they at least always mean well. Sounds simple but is difficult to find.
LikeLike
Sounds pretty reasonable to me. The more specific/particular/sure you are the longer it takes to find a match. More patience required.
LikeLike
I love your title pic because I love Idris. ‘Nuff said.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Idris is a hottie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A great smile is always a very noticeable thing..i typically notice a man’s walk..says so much about him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed girl! I like men who work out and stay in shape too (nice reminder for me to exercise today).
LikeLike