The single life goes by quick! Three years, and counting. And that’s a fact!
I can’t really sum the experience up in one line (yet), but I can say that life, for me, is all about transformation and growth. So I’m appreciating this time for self-assessment and reaffirmation.
Now some random notes on how I’m feeling at this stage of the process:
⇒ I’m starting to find well groomed beards really attractive. Low beards though. Not the Santa-Clause-Rick-Ross-scratch-your-cheek-when-you-kiss-type-beards. No.
⇒ I can’t stand a mumbling man. If I can’t understand what you’re saying (“WHAT?!”), I become annoyed, uninterested, and disengaged from the conversation. I love it when a man can talk to me in plain language in an audible tone, and express himself in a clear manner. That shit is so sexy.
⇒ I need a man who works out. I know… I never know what kind of packaging “the one” will show up in… But discipline is attractive and so are firm male bodies. I love that kind of masculinity. If anyone’s gonna be soft and mushy, it’s me. Aside from that, I want a partnership wherein we motivate one another to keep health and fitness at the forefront of our relationship. That’s winning.
⇒ I still appreciate honesty, although I get why men tend to think women can’t handle it. Oftentimes we can’t. And we trip. Hell, I’ve tripped on occasion. But we’re still entitled to the truth on issues that concern us – and especially if we are engaging in relations. (Here’s my advice on handling honest men.)
⇒ I’ve become a man watcher. When I was in a relationship, I really didn’t see other men. Like, they existed, but not in my head space. They’d speak and I’d barely speak back. So being single has been sort of a de-conditioning process. A well-defined, broad back turns me on. And I won’t name names, but this one man I know has the best hamstrings I’ve ever seen in the flesh during my time here on Earth. They must protrude about five inches from the back of his thigh. (Deep breath.)
⇒ I think I have a deeper appreciation for men and all the manly grunt work they do. (I get my own car serviced nowadays.) Shout out to all the maintenance men! I’m watching you. I’m appreciating nice cologne. I’m analyzing your gait, and sizing you up. I could tell you other things I appreciate (dear lawd!), but I’m keeping this PG!
⇒ I watch women and couples too. But as a writer, I pay attention to all kinds of people all kinds of human interaction. I do.
⇒ For more on what I look for in a potential candidate, read this.
Ladies, chime in. Tell me something you love about men. Please don’t be confined by your sexual orientation. Comments are open!
What about the value in spending time alone, and appreciating being single? Or appreciating whatever relationship stage you’re in? Any thoughts on that? Anyone?