It’s 11:20pm, and because I signed up for NaBloPoMo (agreeing to write one post a day), I’m struggling to think of a topic to discuss with you and share it by 12 midnight. There’s always the shit that goes on behind the scenes, but who wants to talk about that?
The issue of friendship has been weighing heavily me these past few days. I’ve gotten really great at managing my expectations of other people and realizing that 9 times out of 10, their bullshit actions aren’t about me. I’ve gotten good at closing doors behind people who decide to walk out of my life – or my social media circle. (Imagine?) And I never look back. Especially when there hasn’t been a conversation or discussion on whatever their issue is. You wanna walk off without explanation? Bye boo.
It’s rare that I decide to cut ties with friends because I choose them carefully. And they do the same — so they have minimal drama going on. Life will always have its challenges, but I don’t do too well with people who create and enjoy problem situations – or tell me lies. (Whatever you do, don’t freakin lie in my damn face).
That brings me to this question. What do you consider the most important qualities in friends? Off-hand, I’d say Honesty, Compatibility, Consistency, Genuine Intentions, some common interest (I can talk about shopping with some friends, others – fitness. I think we all engage in relationship talk, etc.), open communication and understanding, etc. It takes understanding to recognize and accept other people’s quirks and still love, appreciate and embrace them for who they are.
I’m rarely wrong. I can spot a gem – a diamond in the rough. And I’m loyal to my friends.
But today, I’m doubting myself. Someone I considered a good person is shading me like HELL. Phone calls have gone unanswered and I sent my last text.
Twice in my life – yes, I was very young – I found myself on the floor, holding on to someone’s ankles, and being DRAGGED in my attempt to make them stay. The first time, I was sixteen and begging my boyfriend not to go sell crack. He had just broken the news to me about his new business venture – riding his bicycle around the neighborhood selling drugs.
When people want to walk, let them. And when a “friend” shades you like hell, pay attention to their actions and behavior rather than hold on to a title you gave them, or how forthcoming they were in the past. Key word – past. Actions trump words. Again, it’s a matter of whatever characteristics and actions people need to display to be considered a friend. Is there a match?
We grieve a little when we lose people we care about – and then life goes on. They come back to us in glimpses of memories. But, like in this case I’m describing, unless there’s a valid excuse and an apology, goodbye.
The younger version of me would curse their ass out. Look at me blogging instead. (If you know me, you know I can still go all the way OFF. lol)
What do you consider the most important characteristics of friends? What type of actions do you look for to determine the quality of a friendship? Any deal breakers? What do you normally do when someone decides to walk out of your life? Or when they break the tenets of what you consider friendship?