Every year feels like a year of transformation for me. I’m always growing and evolving in some way. I seek enlightenment, and to be better – physically and spiritually. And I always find genuine helpers – like my trainers, past and present. And now my yoga and meditation teachers. My children, whom I learn from. Friends who keep it real with me. (Thank you.)
I started this post because:
#1 – If you call yourself a writer, you need to write every day. I’ve read that quote a lot. And I haven’t shared anything in a few days, although I am still journaling and slowly piecing together my memoir (working things through in my mind, researching, forming questions, etc.).
#2 – It’s the end of the year. I feel like I should wrap things up with you. And try to summarize what I’ve been up to. What I’m looking forward to. I skipped a Christmas post – well I wrote it, but since it started off with “I have zero ‘fawks’ to give…” I decided not to be Debbie Downer to all those in a cheerful mood. I celebrate for the benefit of others mostly – and not myself. Really. It’s the pressure to spend money, the real history behind the holiday, etc. Although I do enjoy the time with family (like any other day).
But, I digress…
I made tons of great memories with LB this year, adjusted to empty nester life (I suppose, because I enjoy the quiet now), traveled to London and Paris for the first time! And went on a bunch of trips within the United States!
Toward the end of the year, I started engaging in self-care and self-examination in a more deliberate way than I ever have before, and I am committed to fine tuning and trusting my inner guidance system and healing wounds that have long scabbed over, but still deserve some attention. Because they no longer serve me. Nor do fear, doubt, shame, and worry.
This year I began to focus on “letting go.” Again – of unnecessary emotions, people (well, I generally let people walk when they want to – with zero ‘fawks’ to give), things – I’ve given away and thrown away so much “stuff” in the past 12 months or more that it’s almost unreal. Clutter no longer serves me. (I wrote about this a few posts back.) “Thank you. I release you.”
This year, I learned – by default, I’ve practically had this drilled in my head – to manage my expectations of other people even more. Because I tend to want instant decisions from people (like, why do I have to wait when you should just make up your damn mind? like today.) and sometimes I want them to react the way I would react, with the same resolve (because I’ve been through some shit, and I still show up ready to deal, so why can’t you?).
I want people to communicate with me because I’m usually ready. It’s rare that I cower from a conversation. I might feel the anxiety but if a discussion needs to be had, it shouldn’t take months to do it. What the hell is the big deal about saying what’s on your MIND? Good or bad? Spit it out so we can all just get on with it.
STRESS? I’m stressed too! But I put one foot in front of the other as best I can although I do take the occasional mental health day. Or the occasional stay-in-the-bed-and-wallow-in-misery-day. I’ve had the cry-in-the-bathroom-at-work moments.
And you get the drift. So I’m working on my patience. I’m meditating. I’m trying to trust the unfoldings. (The Universe is always working things out for me.) I’ve set intentions and I’m doing visualization exercises daily…
And so much more.
I have a couple of trips already planned for 2016. So I’m excited about that. I want to travel more. I want FREE travel. If you have suggestions, let me know!! 🙂 Need me to go on an exotic weekend retreat and write about it? Let me know! A few places on my list for the future: Japan, Seychelles, Ghana (hopefully in 2016), Morocco, Spain, etc.
I want to train more in 2016 too. Maybe add Pilates to my fitness repertoire.
I am a limitless being. (We meditated on this in Kundalini yoga class yesterday.) So really, I can’t write it all here. Or even express it all in its entirety. Because there are no limits to what I can do. What I can be.
This is getting long, so I will close by expressing gratitude. THANK YOU for reading my blog and especially to those of you who leave comments – I really enjoy engaging with you. It keeps me writing. Thank you! And I will say that I hope you enjoyed 2015, and that you took all the lessons from the bumps and bruises along the way. Best wishes for 2016 and beyond!
Peace, love and light to you.