Expect the best from your friends, give them your best, and they will come through.
I caught quite a bit of slack (from someone I’ve known a long time and care about deeply) for the article I wrote about the parody video showing two women being jealous of their fictitious friend who got engaged to be married.
The idea was that while most women are happy for their friends’ happiness, there are some who start comparing their status – either A) still single, or B) miserable in a committed relationship, and making negative comments because perhaps they’re not where they want to be.
Plenty of people wrote me here on the blog, and on Facebook with stories – real, not imagined, about the very thing I wrote about. One guy explained that his single friends tried to discourage him from getting married as well.
Blogger, Reema summed up:
If you’re upset because someone else is in a relationship, it’s time to reevaluate your life.
Right. In short, my good friend and confidant “LH” (I should tell you that she’s known me since I was 14 and is a huge supporter) accused me of perpetuating fear, hate, and stereotypes about women – surprisingly. In my mind, I’ve been supportive of women on my blog.
After our morning-long discussion, I walked away with a valuable message from her that I replayed in my mind over and over again last weekend: expect the best.
Sometimes I’m guilty of imagining the worst, no matter how quickly I turn those thoughts around. I’m used to being skeptical, but that attitude doesn’t serve me well in friendship and romance.
For the record, there hasn’t been a marriage proposal. In my mind, it’s definitely kind of early for it and I’m enjoying the stage I’m in. But – if that ever happens, I expect that my friends will be highly supportive and happy for me, as they have been. I’ve heard from a handful how much I deserve this – after having sacrificed so much for my children and having worked so hard. Because I’m a great person. I’ve been patient. And so on. One person is already ready to buy a bridesmaid dress. (Yes, this early.) One girlfiend volunteered her daughter as a flower girl. Two have vowed to fly ten hours to another continent to attend this ceremony they’re planning in their minds’ eyes – all sans proposal. They’re expecting the best.
“You have to admit how much you want this!” That was LH.
Okay, okay!! I’ve been happy lately. I expect to continue to grow in more happiness. I want this! I expect the best from my partner, from my relationship, from my friends, my family… I’ll return that. Expect the best from me too.
I feel so much more trust for the people I care about when I’m expecting the best – It’s mental conditioning.
Also, all the positive comments from my blogger friends and readers are noted and invaluable. Thank you.
Do you think expecting the best is worth it? Why or why not? Is there any benefit to imagining the worst? Other thoughts welcomed.