Here’s the text that came through my phone at about 12pm yesterday— (Let’s call the sender ‘Lorelle.’): “What is more important? Quantity or quality sex? Your thoughts?”
I started thinking…
I answered, “Quality!”
Lorelle demanded, “Explain!”
Hmm. “I see quality as intimate lovemaking. And quantity is having more sex. I like it slow and sensual, and intimate. Otherwise, it’s just not worth it.”
She responded, “Good answer. Quality is that the tries to satisfy all my needs and wants & not just worry about himself. You can have sex every day and not be satisfies. I need to have that intimate connection.”
Just for FUN, I polled a few other women to find out their thoughts on this QUALITY versus QUANTITY debate. Here are their responses:
Woman A (Status – married): “Hmmm. Good question. Both are important… A guy could have a small one, but know how to make love fabulously. However size is important. I knew someone that had a penis the size of a pinky and girl… He could “EAT” good, but after a while, I was frustrated. I think size is important because you can teach someone with a nice size d#%k how to become a more sensual lover, however a brother with a small penis can’t grow a bigger one. I hope this helps.”
Woman B (newlywed): “A whole lot of bad sex ain’t worth a thing. [What makes it quality is] the way it makes you feel before, during and after. Hits the right spots.”
Woman C (married): “Definitely quality cause if it ain’t good, who wants it all the time (men, they don’t care. Lol) for me nothing better than fun during sex.”
Woman D (in a relationship): “Both (quality AND quantity). Because when it’s really good, you can’t get enough.”
I think we have a consensus here. Women prefer intimacy and affection (size, and fun) during lovemaking, versus ‘wham bam thank you mam’ sessions. Practically, we know quickies are all we have time for sometimes, but are women generally realistic in their expectations?
Per the Huffington Post, results of my impromptu poll are in line with a survey of more than 1,000 people by YourTango and Durex released June 2013, in which 96 percent of respondents said that the best sex is had with someone they are emotionally connected to. Also, 92 percent said it’s a turn-on when their partner shows vulnerability. Not surprising at all!
Those same poll-takers thought the top three requirements for great sex are physical attraction, emotional intimacy and feeling secure and loved. (Quality?)
I’ll share that I wasn’t having quality action until I was in my mid-20s; I met an older gentleman. Ahem ahem. So, okay, yea – my mind was kinda blown – and um, yea. The pace, attentiveness, patience, and self control were on a whole ‘nother level. Um hmm.
Tell me – is it a misconception that men just love having intercourse – and a lot of it – whether it be a “quickie,” or a slow and steamy session? Is that true, fellas? Or do you long to just be held to? Can you relate to what women describe as ‘quality sex?’ Which do you prefer?
Also, let’s explore why the majority of women prefer quality (intimacy) over quantity (more sex).
And ladies, feel free to add more clarity on this! Thank you.
- The Female Orgasm (everydayhealth.com)
- 7 Healthy Reasons to Have Sex (Right Now!) (everydayhealth.com)
- Is Sex an Antidepressant? (everydayhealth.com)