Natural Progression in Relationships | Do What’s Right For You

Always remember, what’s a natural progression for you may be totally different or out of sync for someone else.

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Remember Oprah considered marrying her long-time beau Steadman Graham because after decades of dating, taking their relationship to the “next level” seemed like a natural progression to the rest of the world? Well, as far as we know, she ditched the idea and went with what is right for them.

A lot of times, I consciously avoid mentioning LB because it works my nerves when people ask what I feel are personal and probing questions about him and our relationship. I dislike unsolicited opinions. I myself am conscious about not asking prying questions about others’ situations. If they want to share something or they ask my opinion, okay. But you won’t catch me sifting for intimate details.

Every relationship unfolds at its own pace and significant moments and milestones vary from person to person. Some of those revelations or moments of growth have nothing to do with the physical at all, but are spiritual – or emotional. (Stay with me here.)

For some women, it’s a significant milestone when their partner is regularly sleeping over. For some, it’s meeting the parents, or introducing their children. Some expect an engagement ring after exactly one year of dating. Others want a full on commitment after 60 days of hanging out. I know a man who proposed to and married his wife after a few weeks of knowing one another. Twelve years later, they’re still in a thriving marriage.

Oh, and most people want to live in the same state as their partner – and definitely the same country! Understandable.

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Lately I’m more focused on nurturing my relationship with energy and vibration, versus words and actions. That’s an unconventional way to look at things, but it works. And if I take away the issue of “time” and “distance,” we are and will forever be more connected by energy. With this view, I feel less of a need to control outcomes and more inclined to focus on the best in him and between us. Because (and I keep repeating this), I am in the midst of a perfect unfolding.

I feel like I’m going left here, but my point is – it doesn’t matter what order folks choose run their relationships in, or how patient they are with one another and their unfolding (because it’s happening regardless). If it feels right, it is right. If you’re enjoying the journey, it’s right. If you’re growing and expanding, it’s right. If you go your separate ways, it’s still right, because you never lose. You always gain something.

If you decide you want something different in your own relationship than someone else’s desire for you, that’s perfectly fine.

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I would ask folks to be conscious of imposing what you think is the normal course of things on other people. If any of us look back (and there’s no need to), somewhere along the way, we took a step that likely falls outside of social norms. And here we are.

Oh, and if I have a significant milestone that I want to share, I will do so willingly when I am ready. In the meantime, I’m good.

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I’m aware that I may be sensitive to this. Do you think it’s a given that intimate details of your relationship are up for discussion?



Categories: Advice

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17 replies

  1. Well said! It’s amazing the amount of pressure (not to speak of the expectations) that society, family and friends put on us where our romantic relationships are concerned.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this! That’s right girl. Well said

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am having a “situation” right now concerning a relationship in my life (for lack of a better way to phrase it…). And I realize that part of what is wrong in MY head is all the external opinion flying around. I think it makes me question a lot about my relationship that I may otherwise not worry about. That being said, I’m not totally pleased with where we are right now, so it’s not only those external things…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes. This. Exactly. I don’t like feeling like that so I stopped soliciting opinions, unless it’s via spiritual coaching (which really helps me focus on my own motivations). It’s ok to not be pleased where you are. Anyone reading this has been there. It takes so much practice to be still and feel your way through and decide what’s right for you. A lot of people who advise us have never had the kind of relationships we respectively envision for ourselves and maybe they aren’t even aspiring to it. We all want specific things/feelings

      Liked by 1 person

  4. LOVE this. I hate that some people have defined timelines in their mind and feel the need to voice their opinions if they think your relationship is moving too fast or slow. The only people’s opinions that matter are the two in the relationship, as long as they’re happy why should anyone interfere!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So weird to me the amount of pressure we put on others and ourselves. If we all chilled out I think singles and attached would be happier. My bf has said that I can write about him and have him on the blog but to me that is so personal, it is only our business so I don’t out of respect but if you put something out there then it is in the public realm so people will talk about it. Don’t agree they should but they will. Do you! And him 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • It feels so much better to relax. Take that from an anxious person. Lol. I’ve relaxed. Like, a lot. To the point that folks think there must be an issue because I don’t bring him up. Um, no – there’s just no need to give anyone a play-by-play. I’m not asking for opinions so why would I? For your entertainment?

      Also, everyone is an expert, and meanwhile back at the ranch….. (meaning, if you’ve never envisioned the kind of relationship/marriage I aspire to, your experience likely won’t help me.)

      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lol I like that, meanwhile back at the ranch. Well the way I see it, could be right or wrong someone constantly talking about their relationship to others positive or negatively is looking for validation. You might want some advice here or there or need to let off steam but I would think something was wrong. Someone confidence in what they have doesn’t need to stress over it. C’est la vie.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Yea sometimes excitement is hard to contain (I think I told everyone when we were exclusive. Lol.) And it’s nice to have ppl who support you in your happiness. As well as in times of confusion. Balance is key. Complaining is never useful.

    That’s nice that your partner is supportive of your blog.

    Like

  7. Thank you for sharing this! I’m just now looking at what truly works for me in relationship. I want to get this solid foundation inside of myself so that I can be a partner who (a) knows what works for me and (b) is taking care of myself so that I can also accept what works for my partner. 🙂 Anyway, have a wonderful weekend! Blessings. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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