I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting lately – not because I have small children, but because I have grown ones. I reflect on decisions I made as a young mother (I had my first child at sixteen) and I wonder whether they were right or wrong. Decisions like whether or not it’s beneficial to talk bad to a child about the other parent. I never did – and it is of no benefit to the children. They will grow up and see that parent for who they really are – on their own, unless someone blocks that opportunity.
Another thing I did right is lay in the bed I made. No matter how afraid I was during a pregnancy, I owned up to motherhood and decided that I would in all cases, try to do what was best for my children – without resentment. And I did that. I believe in order to be the best parent you can be, you need to set aside resentment. Resentment for perceived time lost due to raising children, slowed careers, missed fun, missed opportunities, etc. Dreams get deferred sometimes. You pick them back up when you can, or find a way to do it all. (Also, I found that as a parent, I juggled many things and did not always give 100% to all tasks. That’s okay too as long as the children are well cared for in a safe environment.)
I believe in order to be the best parent you can be, you need to set aside resentment.
Many people decide early on that they don’t want children and they stick with that decision. I commend them for acknowledging that parenting ain’t for them for whatever reason. They can focus on things they enjoy rather than being a resentful, or worse yet – a neglectful parent.