The Lowest Rung of Men – Cowards and Bitches

image

PART I

My first instinct was to send her a picture of her husband’s penis, but then I discovered that I deleted those text messages as soon as I received them. I had no use. (Just being honest.) Or pictures of him laying on the beach in speedos. But I thought better of the gesture itself — because  I really hate drama and haven’t seen her  so-called “husband” in months.

Before I blocked his number (and HER, assuming his bitch ass was allowing her to use his phone), I did respond that he performs oral sex well and did a great job of taking me on an all-expense paid luxury vacation. (The oral sex part was a lie. Never happened, but since she texted me calling me as a Bitch , hey…)

When you contact someone for the sole purpose of cursing them out or starting some shit, you need to be prepared to hear potentially disturbing things.

PART II

I wrote Part I a month ago, but hadn’t really thought of a way to bring the piece home. And since it’s such a big issue (men being cowards and bitches), I thought it needed more attention. So, it sat in my ‘drafts.’

And then this happened today.

I was busy working from home (if you’re in the New York City area, you know we had a snowstorm) and my phone answers itself and I hear a woman saying “hello, hello” on speakerphone. (My phone is doing this crazy thing – when someone calls it automatically picks up and puts the caller on speakerphone.)

Anyway, I was in the kitchen talking to my daughter – I don’t know – about Beyoncé or something. I’m caught off guard when she says “Um, do you know Travis Williams?” Yes, fake name, but I’m wondering if this guy used me as a reference for something, or if an AIDS clinic is contacting me because I may have been a potential partner. In hindsight, that doesn’t make any sense because I never slept with the man!!

“I’m his long-time girlfriend and I just wanted to know if you’re dating him. I’m sorry to catch you off guard.”

PAUSE

Excuseme

I hate getting these kind of phone calls. First of all, I’m not dating this guy. We went out a few times two summers ago, and I wrote about him in this piece – Ladies: Our Male Friends Have Motives. He was the passive 49-year old. Every once in a while we talk on the phone, mostly about our kids applying to college since they’re both seniors in high school. And occasionally, he takes me to lunch since we work in the same area. We never talk relationships, which is weird. (He told me today that he never broached the topic because he saw me as a potential relationship and didn’t want to bring it up and create awkwardness. What kind of bitch-statement is that?)

The girlfriend kept saying “I’m his long-time girlfriend. And I just trusted him. I never go through his things or show up at his house unannounced – because, because, I trust him unless he gives me reason to believe otherwise.”

So I say, “Well if you think you’re in a relationship with him, he’s the one you need to talk to because I don’t know you. I’m not going to confirm anything with you or give you any information.”

I was nice to her. Of course, I prodded further and asked what prompted this sudden lack of trust in him.

“Well like I said, I trusted him and I never show up unannounced. But – this particular day, I showed up and – and I walked in on him. I walked in on him with someone else.”

I let her talk for a while (hey, I had a story to write about cowards and bitches) and then basically ended the call with her and said good luck.

busted

This coward ass mother fucker. (Excuse my French.) I waited like an hour to call him so I could hit him with the “Hey, YOUR LONG-TIME GIRLFRIEND JUST CALLED ME,” all cool, calm and collected. Hehe.

Travis went into defense mode: “Well, let me tell you what happened!” And then he backtracked to apologize because I was silent. He was like “Hello?”  I was like “Yea, I’m here.”

Just to fill you in, the first or second time we went out, we were walking in the Times Square area of New York after dinner and saw this woman who he introduced as a friend. Given the level of shade the woman and her girlfriend were throwing, I knew there was MORE to that story. But I didn’t care because I had just met dude.

This is the SAME girl (Raquanda) who was sleeping in his house when his girlfriend dropped by. Women’s intuition is a bitch. This SAME girl saw him out holding hands with his current girlfriend and he explained away “oh, the woman you saw me with is just a friend.”

I won’t go in on Raquanda’s insecurities because the piece isn’t about her, but DAMN.

Things hit the fan and Raquanda told current girlfriend that she and Travis were having an intimate relationship. Then the two women exchanged phone numbers to get better acquainted.

Liars-Get-Stabbed-

Current girlfriend’s biological clock is ticking because she’s 46 and wants to have her first child.

Is 40 The New 25?

Situations like this make me happy that I’m single! The drama! I’ve been thinking lately that one of the reasons I’m still single is that I don’t care enough. You call, you call. You don’t, you don’t. But with all the lying and dishonesty going on, I would be remiss to give my heart to someone JUST for the sake of changing my status. Ain’t gonna happen.

I can’t stand passive men. Those are the ones who disappear without explanation, lie about being a relationship, have other women call your damn phone, etc. The ones who aren’t upfront about their intentions and are inconsistent. The men who help make babies and refuse to support them. I could go on and on.

Travis wasn’t courting me, and supposedly when we went out two summers ago, he hadn’t met his current girlfriend yet. He never saw me as a woman who was loose, or readily available just for sex and he respected that. But um, as I said to him “not bringing up the topic of relationships because I have good potential and you don’t want to ruin it is just weird. I would never want to be in a relationship with you if there was no open communication as a friend.”

I let him have it and wished him the best of luck. He admitted he’s a weak man – and then had the nerve to ask for my advice on the situation. Tuh! I told him passivity is his downfall.

Um yea. “Don’t ever give another women my phone number to call me. Or let her go through your phone and knowingly allow her to write my number down. If I have a relationship with YOU, and not her – that is the ULTIMATE form of disrespect. And if she calls me again, I will tell her something she doesn’t want to hear.”

I’ve been THAT woman, who called another woman too.

But anyway, Ladies: beware of cowards and bitches.

Men: the best game is honesty, believe it or not.

*************

Have you ever been in a situation where another man or woman called you to confirm details about their cheating partner? How did you handle it? What would you have done if you were in my situation today? Would you have just calmed her fears by telling her you had nothing going on with her man? 



Categories: Advice, Dating Stories, Personal Stories, Rants

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

26 replies

  1. You definitely touched on some points I could relate to. I don’t understand these type of men. I really don’t. One of my good guy friends lives with his girlfriend and cheats on her often! But tries to use us, his work friends, as his alibi at times. I know his girl. Of course I won’t interven, but I want him to man up!

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    • Selfish, weak and cowardly! Shameful. I’ve had a couple, which is how I learned to recognize the signs. If she caught another woman in his house and found out he was cheating, why call up all the womens’ numbers in his phone? I know, emotions…

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  2. I’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of those phone calls. My response usually depended on what type of relationship I had with the guy and what he’d told me as far as if he has a woman or not. Some years ago I dated a guy that got married while him and I were dating when the wife called to tell me they were married, pissed and shocked I told her to call him on 3way and she did. He refused to choose her over me or me over her and admitted he was in a relationship with both of us. After being thrown a ton of questions he said to hell with both of us and hung up. (Talk about a coward) In your situation today I probably would’ve told her if she thinks he’s cheating with multiple women she’s probably right. However it’s not you and to please do herself and you a favor and not call your phone again.

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    • Lol. Wow, what a story. That guy was definitely a coward! That’s good advice. I told him that if I get another call, I’ll have something for that arse! I was courteous the first time. I know she’s probably in shock. Lucky I wasn’t seeing him. Thanks for chiming in!

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  3. Yes, the 1st time, I had no idea he had a serious GF so I laid in on her ass & gave her all the juicy details of our relationship (she was not ready or appreciative). Another time, it was a co-worker’s wife who ‘happened upon an IM exchange in which her husband offered to take me out to dinner & I declined ‘joining he & his wife on their date night’ (I made it very clear I was not into dating married couples because I knew he was married and thought surely his wife would be there as well). I was courteous to her and tried to assure her that her hubby & I were only co-workers but that she should direct her concern about him asking me on a date with him & to never contact me again or he would find himself in HR for allowing her to gain access of his company issue computer equipment.

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  4. Lol….this was a good one! It takes me back a few years. Yes, I’ve had another woman call me, but he and I were living together and she was the side chick. He had told her (lies, lies, lies), like we were only together for the baby and although we lived together and he came home every night, that we slept in separate bedrooms. I was angry, but it was laughable! But instead of her calling with inquiry, she called with insults and questions like, “When are you leaving? He doesn’t want to be with you” REALLY?! She refused to give her name, but would call every few days to let me know he had just left her or brag that he had spent 5 hours at her place. (I was too curious to NOT answer the blocked calls). Of course he out and out denied it, but she knew too much for it to be a lie. Changed my outlook on who he was and not being one to fight over a man, after a few weeks and finding out more about her (she was an older woman with 4 kids, her oldest being just a few years younger than him) I bowed out of the relationship gracefully and let her have him. Fast forward several years…they are now married (did so 5 days before he was to serve a 3 year bid) and he has a steady mistress. I love hearing the stories of his infidelity to her from his family. His mistress gives it to her worse than she did me! Two years after their marriage, she sent home 2 cards

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    • basically apologizing for her behavior in the beginning. I never got angry with her or said anything derogatory. Didnt ever want to give her a reason to feel justified in her actions and I think that made the woman in her feel like crap.

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      • And to think she turned on you and not him! Women do that so often with cheating, lying men. See those are the ones who will hear some crazy junk if they call! Seems like she did you a favor and saved you some drama though.

        Girl, that phone call was just too much. Had to share. Thanks!

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  5. I’ll never understand men who do things like this. It just makes no sense. In whose mind is it logical to avoid talking about being in a relationship if you want to be in a relationship. Honestly, that would be a first date conversation for me. That doesn’t mean we have to start the relationship then and there. I mean, people should state what they want. Are you looking for a relationship, something casual or just some fun? All are good answers, but if I want something casual and you’re looking for a series relationship, this whole thing is doomed from the start.

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    • I agree, but the last thing a weak, cowardly man will do is be honest. He claims he’ll marry her tomorrow if she forgives him. Apparently, it’s out of character for him to lie and cheat, but —- he regularly has female friends over without her knowledge. He’s lonely living in a big house by himself. (Yes, that’s his excuse!) Coward!

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    • And yes, not stating what you are looking for is just weird. I saw that as a red flag. Plus he was inconsistent and I told him he was annoying me. So nothing ever blossomed. I’m so glad I wasn’t operating from a place of neediness like the woman he was cheating with.

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  6. I’ve never had a guy hit me up about his girl. I guess I’ve been lucky. When I was in the dating game, I did assume that every girl I was talking to was already dealing with someone. I think that prepared me for the unexpected.

    As far as cheating, I did cheat on a girlfriend once a few years back and I felt horrible. I ended up telling her and that changed the entire relationship and we broke up a few months later. I was also cheated on that felt worst. I wouldn’t want someone else to feel what I felt. I’ve since learned that being honest and playing the game fair is the best option. I would NEVER cheat on my girl now. I would try to work things out first and then end the relationship if that didn’t work.

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    • You get so much more respect for being honest, even if the truth stings and is not what a woman wants to hear. I learned that from the first guy I dated who was really forthcoming and honest – about who else he was seeing, what he wanted from me, etc.

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    • He could bring the truth to me and I loved him more because I had a choice – accept it or not. Communication was great. That also taught me to be more honest about my intentions, and gave me insight as to why a lot of men feel women can’t handle the truth. When it hurts like hell, raw emotions come out. But I still think guys should recognize that honesty is the best game. Less drama

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  7. GIRLLLLL! I would have cursed that bitch out to no end. First, only an insecure woman goes through their man phone and calls a woman who he is supposedly messing around with. That is between you and that “bitch made” man of yours. I hate when that happens to me because I will roast someone is 2.5 seconds about distrupting my peace over a man. ughhh.

    Ok ok Im calm now haha

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. My Promise to “Him” | My Female Persuasion
  2. The Dating Game – How Three Years of One-Off Dates Helped Shape My Perspective on Marriage – My Female Persuasion

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