Lately I’ve kept you guys completely out of the loop as far as my dating life. No worries. There haven’t been any fireworks. At all. Here’s a brief rundown.
I wrote about Nigel in this piece. Based on my fantasy that there would be fireworks and sexual tension. Okay, based on the fact that I had gutter brain. Heh. He actually made it to date #3 – just because I have somewhat of a history of counting guys out after date #1. Like here and here… I must say that my intuition is on point. I was bored out of my mind talking to him! Whenever I tried to get a word in edgewise, he would cut me off and either talk about this job (he owns tax consultant business), his ex-wife (she let her 16-year old son lay between them in the bed at night to watch TV), his strained relationship with his son’s mother (she changes like the weather), or what body part he worked at the gym last. I couldn’t. To his credit, he owns a business, is generous, persistent, he works out (very important), and he owns a home. But still, he wanted something long-term and I just couldn’t see it. Although he expressed that he would still like to hang out, it’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve spoken.
This other guy (Let’s call him Alex.) —- I wrote about him last year. Remember how he talked about his disdain for fat women on our first date? Anyway, he flaked on a brunch date we had scheduled Labor Day weekend. We were supposed to confirm that morning to meet around 12pm. He called at 3pm. I was in the gym working out by that time. I never answered the phone and didn’t return his call. Fast forward to November 2013. He sent me a text message saying something like “it’s a shame we’re not talking. you could at least apologize.” I hit him with the “Who’s this??!!!”
“Wrong number. I’m sorry.” Haaahahaa!!
Fast forward to last Friday night. I was thinking about him. So after a few minutes of hesitating, I decided ‘Ehh, what the hell.’ I texted him a “hey, how are you?” Guess what? He was very happy to hear from me, said he hadn’t been out with anyone like me since our initial date. “It’s hard to get motivated by basic chicks.” (His words.) Anyway, he apologized for his negligence, told me how much he missed me, and asked if he could make it up to me. He also said “You are a very difficult woman. Like a Soduko puzzle. It’s hard to figure you out.”
I say, “What?”
“A Soduko puzzle. What, you never played before?”
I say yes, and “So I’m that difficult, but you still missed me huh?”
We’ve pretty much talked every day since. I have to keep asking him to stay in the present with me. He’s already on to making love and planning what we’ll say at our engagement party, and what our vows will sound like when we get married. (I can’t.) Like stop. I know that’s some guys’ game, but really? Give me a break.
Remember that was one of the issues I had with him when I wrote about our first date. Like dude, chill! Stay with me — in the present.
I do believe he sincerely missed me. I think it’s kind of funny though.
All women are not pressed for dates (enough to wait around twiddling thumbs for a particular man), or in a rush to change their status from SINGLE to — whatever!!
Speaking of status, he’s already asked me to date him exclusively. (“You’re a beautiful woman and I don’t want to share you.”)
WHAT? Dude, I don’t KNOW you!
I’m not ready for that and I told him I don’t want to put myself in a position to even have to THINK about being dishonest with him. Besides, we all know he has a history of playing games, right? And we bump heads. I have a dominant personality and he thinks I’m controlling. Oh well.
He also claims he’s happy with the way I look and doesn’t feel that I need to invest more than a moderate amount of time in the gym, or even have a trainer. That’s a battle he will never win, so he needs to tread carefully. It’s not about the way A MAN thinks I look. “The first time I saw you, I was like why the hell is she always in the gym? I would fuck the shit out of her!” (His words.) That’s all good and fine, but I’m a happier person when I’m training and no one has a say in that. Modify my schedule if I need to accommodate you? Yes. Give up my option to have a trainer or train whenever I feel like it? Get the hell outta here! (Side note: I tried Bikram yoga yesterday for the first time. Challenging to say the least, but I have 29 more sessions.)
Wait, I went off on a tangent, but I’m back!! I do think about him when we’re not talking (Is this turning into a Confession piece?) and I like that I can’t walk all over him. I do have a dominant personality. I claim that!
He’s still writing me poetry and wants to know why I can’t just accept the fact that I have that effect on men. No argument.
Okay, y’all that’s the latest. I wrote another guy off yesterday because he was just too needy and in a rush for intimacy. He told me that his mother didn’t care about him when he was growing up because she had him at seventeen and dropped out of college as a result. And she was gifted. I can relate to his story, but he was just too overwhelming.
I may summon him in another piece, but in the meantime, Alex and I have dinner plans in tomorrow. We’re supposed to see snow and very frigid temps in New York City though, so I’m not so sure.
Have you ever ended things with someone for flaking on a date? Have you rekindled with someone you dated briefly, only to have the situation turn into a long-term relationship? What’s the best thing about being single? If you’re currently single, what would it take to change your status? What do you make of the guy who flaked on me – does he deserve another chance?