How often do we seek closure on situations? Relationships ended. Arguments? Friends who fall off the face of the earth? Opportunities applied for but not received?
All the time. Or at least occasionally, right?
I can’t imagine what it would be like to be adopted and never know my birth parents? Or to never know my parents under any circumstances. I do imagine that I would seek some sort of closure. I’d want to know why they couldn’t care for me and what my roots are. What circumstances I was born into.
I’m bringing this up because I watched a documentary – Closure, on Netflix yesterday. It’s about a 26-year old woman named Angela who set out to find her birth mom after being adopted by a white couple who lived in an all-white town in Washington State. Angela is black. She was raised well, with plenty of love and attention.
I admired her adoptive parents and their huge hearts very much – to the point of tears. Angela wasn’t supposed to walk, or talk, or do much of anything “normal” as a special needs baby, but with love – all she needed was love – she surpassed the odds.
She and her husband Bryan found her biological family via internet searches that led to her father first, and everything unfolded in a such a touching, and complex manner after that. I wouldn’t have thought I could fathom how a mother would give her baby away – like under what circumstances do you not want to touch or see your child after you give birth – but I did eventually. Sometimes the choice is selfless.
Closure is a documentary about love, and shame, and guilt, and perseverance and acceptance. About choices and despair. And hope.
I came away feeling empowered to be more supportive in my relationship. Angela’s husband, who is white, supported her at every step of the way, even though he couldn’t understand at first what her quest was all about. As did her adoptive family.
I came away wondering if I should be a foster mom! Maybe I could be a bridge for children in need and permanent families – or their own families. And then I thought – but I work long hours and that wouldn’t be fair to them – and I go to gym at different times, and who would watch them? Could I leave the country with them?
I’m not quite ready. For now, I mentor a seven year old in reading. And I support my grown children however I can!
My co-worker recommended this documentary to me for a reason. Perhaps a seed has been planted.
I also found out recently that I have some searching and discovering to do regarding my father’s paternal family. Like Angela’s birth mother and father, they live in the South (Alabama).
Check out the documentary if you have time. It’s playing on Netflix. You can also buy it here.