I just read this article on Grace Jones where she rails against certain forces that make women seem ill equipped or crazy for taking on positions of power that are generally held by men – and more specifically misogyny in the music industry.
Her thoughts on being treated like a temperamental, unstable mess for trying to control her career are very relatable although I can’t say it’s happened to me personally. (I did have a time about 8 years ago when I felt like I was about to go over the edge with grief and stress though. My sister had died, and so much more.)
But the part I liked most – the part I really want to share with you, is this quote from Ms. Jones’ other article I read: “If the fuck don’t feel right, don’t fuck it.” Again, contextually, she’s talking about the music industry and how artists lose their identity by following the “machine” versus their hearts. The statement took me back to my youth though.
What I’m about to say is explicit, but maybe someone could relate – to one or more “fucks” – and I mean relationships, sexual relations, intimate moments, moments of fear and or discomfort – that you may have experienced with a particular person and you knew it just wasn’t right. You knew you were in the wrong place doing the wrong thing. But you went with the flow anyway.
Would you do that now? Or would you listen to that inner voice that tells you to run far and fast? What if running meant you’d be lonely, or embarrassed, or that you’d be ridiculed for backing down to peer pressure?
How many fucks would you have to give?
I’m willing to bet that many of us have had those moments where he/ she/ it just didn’t feel right. Maybe it did at first. Or maybe we had something to prove (by being “grown”). Some of us have been abused or belittled or harmed in some way by our decision to fuck anyway.
Really, I just liked the quote and had no real idea where this post would go. But here we are. Take what you will.
“If the fuck don’t feel right, don’t fuck it.”
‘I’ll Never Write My Memoirs’ by Grace Jones is published by Simon and Schuster and is available from Waterstones.