Mr. Charming Wants to Get Married

I swear this dating life has me skeptical as hell! It’s been so long since I had an interesting, fun conversation with a prospect. I’m usually half-listening while they ramble on about whatever.

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Enter Mr. Charming. He’s a 34 year old lawyer of Antiguan descent. Yesterday we had our first phone conversation. It was interesting. He was engaging, funny, witty, communicative, and the whole nine yards. I got all sorts of looks from men on the street. (I called Mr. Charming while I was taking a lunch break near Macy’s 34th street.)

In hindsight, I was laughing out loud, twirling my hair, and pacing a bit – wearing a snug navy blue faux wrap dress, black sling back pumps, and bare, shaved legs. Traffic swirled by, and the revolving doors saw a slew of shoppers entering and leaving the store.

Intuitively, I thought about my mental checklist. He’s ambitious. He’s passionate (about his work, his extended family, etc), he’s expressive. I know he works out – and a few more things.

He told me outright. “I’m not looking for someone to keep me company or someone to talk to. I’m looking for a wife. Someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

That struck me as odd. You rarely hear men say that these days. I may have heard it twice in three years. Most of them like to “have fun and see where it things go.”

It struck me as odd that he wanted me to call him on his landline at home (yes, it’s really a landline). I’m thinking like “where they do that at?”

He’s spontaneous. I’m not. That’s cool. We talked about our careers, his journey, his take on the ideal person for him, our familial backgrounds, etc.

Anyway, after we hung up, I texted my friend to tell her about the exciting conversation I’d had. Shortly after I got back to my desk we had this exchange (he texted first):

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I felt the same damn way. Fun conversation. I’m such a sucker for a man who can communicate in plain language and not require me to do the exhausting job of over explaining everything. Always a breath of fresh air. Please don’t ask me what I mean every other sentence. Listen for context clues. Keep up!

By the time I got home, it dawned on me how charming he was on the phone. His texts are littered with the words “precious” and “angelic beauty.” *raised eyebrow.* (stoppit)

Have you ever heard that charming men are liars? Me too. I did a Google search on what to look for in a psychopath! And why charming men are considered liars. Lol. No red flags – so far.

At 6am, I woke up to two messages – one wishing me a good night and the other wishing a good morning. He wants to talk later.

This is where I reign myself in a bit. He hasn’t done anything outlandish (except talk a good game – he could easily be a con artist!), although he’s heavy on the messages – but I got my eye on him.

So Mr. Charming has made his debut on the blog. If I like him, I’ll have to keep all the details private. If he effs up, I’ll tell you all about it! If he never gets another mention, that means he got on my nerves and I scrapped him (or he scrapped me. Lol). In this world, I say you can never be too careful. Ain’t it a crazy world?

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So tell me – am I super skeptical or nah? What’s your experience with charming men? Or your experience as a charming man?

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Update: It took less than two days for me to realize I can’t deal with this guy. Way too much contact (texting, calling), trying me with the damn pet names (Precious, Love, etc.), asking me if I’m talking to anyone else (and telling me I’m the only one he’s speaking to), and talking about marriage. He said, “if you prove to me your worthy, I’ll put a ring on your finger in the near future.”

Haahaahaahaaaaa!

I said, “well first of all, you have to prove to me that you’re worthy of me even accepting a ring from you. And It’s way too early to talk about that.”

I told Mr. Charming I’m not the right person for him. This is not serious for me – because DUDE, I don’t know you!

Moving way too fast in a courtship – talking marriage, worrying about who else I’m talking to, promising me the sun, moon, and stars, telling me you think I’m “the one” – are all signs of a controlling abuser. I am NOT here for that. I need my freedom – as in “I wish a Ninja would!”

People cray.



Categories: Dating Stories

Tags: , , ,

28 replies

  1. Hmmm it depends on what is meant by charming…because sometimes charming can be manipulative. Also, you are so right about men never saying they want to find a wife! It’s always, “I’m just here for a good time, and if something comes out of it, then great!” I’d be skeptical too if I were you. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hmm, good point re charming. I didn’t sense any manipulation and nothing made my “faker” radar go off. But I’ve learned that sometimes the ones that sell themselves the best, are the best liars! But usually they promise things. —-and they mention marriage early on because they think women want to hear that. I’m on alert. Thanks for chiming in.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. To be perfectly candid and honest, there are those of us out here who still believe in – and practice – chivalry. It’s a code of ethics; a way of life. It’s who we are; what defines us through and through.

    Are there those who come across as slick and manipulative? Sure. There’s always gonna be those few slimy, grimy, and shady snake-oil salesmen, but mostly, when you encounter guys like us … we’re real. We say what we mean and we mean what we say.

    I’ll be johnny-on-the-spot right now and say it: I don’t date much. I’m very picky. I’d rather be selective and choosy than to find some uninspired dud or some off-the-chain crazy person. I’m not looking for just a wife. I’m looking for my Queen … my partner, my right hand, my road dawg, my best friend, my gift from Heaven.

    In due time, though.

    Regardless … roll with this. See what happens. (nods) Yeah, there exists a slight possibility that he could be slinging b.s., but then again … chances are likelier that he’s being upfront and honest because he believes in playing it square and straight. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oooohhh, yes I thought about this (he could just be an upfront guy, and I’m making a mountain out of a molehill). But I wrote this at the crack of dawn before I got out of bed, so I had to share! Lol.

      What you’re looking for is well-stated! The universe is conspiring to bring you two together!

      And yes. We shall see! Lol. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! Nope nope nope! Need more time. Okay, so you see me and decide you want a serious relationship?! Actually, you’re looking for a wife?! Ha…. So just how long have you been looking? That’s my first thought….lol

    He’s too charming. I know men don’t express the fact that they are looking for a wife, but the reason for him saying that? Maybe it’s my psychology background throwing red flags at me or it could very well be the fact that he is a man. Men are big liars! No watch him. He’s good! Lol… My thoughts are deep.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. From where I’m sitting, red flags are flying. He’s moving too fast and headed into love-bombing territory.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just another guy who really doesn’t understand women. Having good conversation is a good start but you have to wrap that all up with good game. A simple 10 minute conversation to set up when you guys would meet up would have been a lot better. Talking on the phone confessing your feelings is not a good look. Isn’t the point to get together with the girl you are interested to see if you have anything? The phone is not going to help you determine that. It must be done face to face.

    Guys please stop with the good morning text and the good night text. Women don’t think that’s “cute” or charming. You don’t have to go out of your way to impress women. You’re cool and she’s cool. Let’s see where this goes. No added extras.

    Stop being some available. Women don’t want men who are always available to them. They will just put you in back up status. When all other plans fall through they might hit you up to take them out. They know you will be waiting anyway. Have some respect for yourself.

    Like

  6. I know this post is a few weeks old but I had to comment. He definitely sounds like he is moving too fast. I do understand being ready to settle down and not wasting anymore time but I always stress not to rush things. Even if he was looking for a wife he should have just taken the time to get to know you as a friend and not make it seem as though he is forcing himself on you. He appeared attached too soon and sounds like the type to smother you. I know you like to breathe and no one wants a man that is going to be all up under them all the time. It’s nice to be charmed but there is a such thing as being too charming.

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