I swear this dating life has me skeptical as hell! It’s been so long since I had an interesting, fun conversation with a prospect. I’m usually half-listening while they ramble on about whatever.
Enter Mr. Charming. He’s a 34 year old lawyer of Antiguan descent. Yesterday we had our first phone conversation. It was interesting. He was engaging, funny, witty, communicative, and the whole nine yards. I got all sorts of looks from men on the street. (I called Mr. Charming while I was taking a lunch break near Macy’s 34th street.)
In hindsight, I was laughing out loud, twirling my hair, and pacing a bit – wearing a snug navy blue faux wrap dress, black sling back pumps, and bare, shaved legs. Traffic swirled by, and the revolving doors saw a slew of shoppers entering and leaving the store.
Intuitively, I thought about my mental checklist. He’s ambitious. He’s passionate (about his work, his extended family, etc), he’s expressive. I know he works out – and a few more things.
He told me outright. “I’m not looking for someone to keep me company or someone to talk to. I’m looking for a wife. Someone to spend the rest of my life with.”
That struck me as odd. You rarely hear men say that these days. I may have heard it twice in three years. Most of them like to “have fun and see where it things go.”
It struck me as odd that he wanted me to call him on his landline at home (yes, it’s really a landline). I’m thinking like “where they do that at?”
He’s spontaneous. I’m not. That’s cool. We talked about our careers, his journey, his take on the ideal person for him, our familial backgrounds, etc.
Anyway, after we hung up, I texted my friend to tell her about the exciting conversation I’d had. Shortly after I got back to my desk we had this exchange (he texted first):
I felt the same damn way. Fun conversation. I’m such a sucker for a man who can communicate in plain language and not require me to do the exhausting job of over explaining everything. Always a breath of fresh air. Please don’t ask me what I mean every other sentence. Listen for context clues. Keep up!
By the time I got home, it dawned on me how charming he was on the phone. His texts are littered with the words “precious” and “angelic beauty.” *raised eyebrow.* (stoppit)
Have you ever heard that charming men are liars? Me too. I did a Google search on what to look for in a psychopath! And why charming men are considered liars. Lol. No red flags – so far.
At 6am, I woke up to two messages – one wishing me a good night and the other wishing a good morning. He wants to talk later.
This is where I reign myself in a bit. He hasn’t done anything outlandish (except talk a good game – he could easily be a con artist!), although he’s heavy on the messages – but I got my eye on him.
So Mr. Charming has made his debut on the blog. If I like him, I’ll have to keep all the details private. If he effs up, I’ll tell you all about it! If he never gets another mention, that means he got on my nerves and I scrapped him (or he scrapped me. Lol). In this world, I say you can never be too careful. Ain’t it a crazy world?
So tell me – am I super skeptical or nah? What’s your experience with charming men? Or your experience as a charming man?
Update: It took less than two days for me to realize I can’t deal with this guy. Way too much contact (texting, calling), trying me with the damn pet names (Precious, Love, etc.), asking me if I’m talking to anyone else (and telling me I’m the only one he’s speaking to), and talking about marriage. He said, “if you prove to me your worthy, I’ll put a ring on your finger in the near future.”
I said, “well first of all, you have to prove to me that you’re worthy of me even accepting a ring from you. And It’s way too early to talk about that.”
I told Mr. Charming I’m not the right person for him. This is not serious for me – because DUDE, I don’t know you!
Moving way too fast in a courtship – talking marriage, worrying about who else I’m talking to, promising me the sun, moon, and stars, telling me you think I’m “the one” – are all signs of a controlling abuser. I am NOT here for that. I need my freedom – as in “I wish a Ninja would!”
Categories: Dating Stories