“You can’t see me because *Joan will think you’re gonna take me away from her. She thinks we gonna get back together.”
My ex (“M”) called me yesterday. I wrote about how he had a severe stroke back in August, two days before my birthday. I knew something happened to him once he didn’t call me.
“So what would make her think that?” I wanted to know.
I asked him where he is because he sounded out of sorts and told me he had been given some “calm down” medication. He’s paralyzed on one side and in a rehab facility.
The rest of our conversation went something like this.
Him: Do you want me back?
Me: No, you’re in a relationship.
Him: I know, but would you take me back?
Me: No, because you’re in a relationship and you’re happy.
Him: You’re not answering my question! If I wasn’t in a relationship, would you take me back?
Me: No. We were together a long time and things didn’t work out.
Him: Well ok. I’ll talk to her and ask if you can visit me. It shouldn’t be no problem.
Me: It sounds like she’s jealous of me and insecure. Don’t bother. If she’s there for you and taking care of you, don’t mess that up.
Him: No, I’m gonna talk to her. I just don’t want any altercation. I don’t know where I am. I have to ask her. Or maybe I’ll have my nephew bring you with him.
Me: Focus on getting better and don’t stress yourself out. Keep calling me and letting me know you’re okay.
And the conversation went on for a little while with him insisting, until I had to go back to work.
I did tell him that having died after his stroke (doctors revived him), he knows that tomorrow is not promised to any of us. And for him to allow one person to dictate who he can and can’t see (he keeps telling me that friends want to see him and can’t) is his decision to make and live with.
I’ll listen and encourage him to keep pushing, whenever he calls. I’m grateful for the stability I had during the eleven years we were together. He’s a good man.
Prior conversation here.
Also related: Seven Things I Miss About My Ex.