Demetria Lucas D’Oyley and Gregory D’Oyley
It’s your dream wedding day. Assuming you aren’t already married. Or even if you are, you can re-imagine it. What’s your theme? How is the decor looking? The setting? (Garden? Beach? Chapel?)
Who are the guests at the ceremony and reception?
Two of my favorite reads are Munaluchi Bride magazine (the online version), where I learn about couples’ journeys to engagement and ultimately marriage (we are all voyeurs, right?) – and Demetria Lucas D’Oyley’s blog and Q&A (folks write in for relationship advice, which she typically serves straight up). She’s also authored two relationship books: book 1, book 2.
My reading choices shouldn’t be a big surprise. I’ve been writing about relationships here for quite some time! Not only that – I love a good story. I love a good love story. Hopeless romantic, or nah?
So last week I was thrilled to come across Munaluchi’s interview with Demetria about her wedding and marriage. She was the cover model for their Spring/Summer 2015 edition. The D’Oyley’s just celebrated their one year anniversary.
What struck me, among other things, is that she only invited “2AM guests” – meaning people she could call in an emergency and they would answer.
I would love to have an intimate nuptials experience like that, with my close witnesses being the people who love and care for me. And people who consistently support me behind the scenes. I got to thinking – who would be my 2AM guests? Who can I really call in an emergency and they will answer? Who are my ‘ride-or-dies?’ I’m lucky to have a few. Of course my children are at the top of the list.
*******
If you’re married, how did you decide on a guest list? Was there a prerequisite for who got invited and why? If you aren’t married, what logic would you use? What do you think of the 2AM guest list idea? Even if you have no interest at all in weddings or marriage, would you make anyone’s list?
Categories: Blogging, Inspiration, Random
My Female Persuasion 
OMG. Arriving at consensus for the wedding list almost prevented the wedding. 🙂 I know that we had issues with some of my friends attending, which in hindsight were probably a good idea on her part. It’s agonizing. You’ll offend some by not inviting them, so be prepared. Then again, if you have an gigantic wedding, then you can invite all, but we weren’t that wealthy to do that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so right. I’m a bit averse to inviting family I haven’t seen or heard from in umpteen years. Most wouldn’t show anyway so I’d keep it intimate and have some folks be offended. Weddings can get expensive.
LikeLike
A cousin I grew up with just got married and she didn’t invite me. We are about the same age. I’m not offended, because I would reach out to her aND never hear back. So, of course, I’m not showing up to your wedding just to be fake. I best wished her on social media, smh. I don’t even have her phone number. Anywho, I would still invite her to my wedding no matter if she shows or not…I think it’s right. I don’t have many 2am folks..my immediate family and a close friend. I enjoyed this! I would probably pick a beach wedding…but what if the waves are too loud and we can’t hear anything lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 beach weddings are beautiful. Funny I witnessed one last summer (on the jersey shore) and it was windy! I hear you re your cousin. It’s good that you aren’t resentful about her behavior. She may have been ignoring you out of guilt. Choosing who to invite can be difficult I hear. I only have a handful of 2AM friends too, and it would make me most happy if they were at my wedding (if and when)! I’m drawn most to garden weddings. Thanks for chiming in!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And thank you for following!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ignoring me out of guilt, hmm now in all my 25 years of life and I never even thought of that lol. 😁 thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just a thought. You may never really know, but more than likely it has more to do with her than it does you. Some ppl will ignore you out of guilt, or as a means of avoiding (perceived) conflict. I would rather folks just have a conversation with me!!! But it’s beyond our control.
LikeLike
And, in all honesty it’s been going on for so long we would never had a buddy buddy relationship, so it’s fine. I wouldnt even ask her so that shows how little I value the relationship. So glad we’ve connected. You’ve given me a new perspective and all… yeah, I “LIKES” that. Lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good for you. Cool!
LikeLike
I bypassed the whole formal wedding thing my first time around so it’s definitely something I’m looking forward to should I get married again. It is guaranteed to be very intimate though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice. I haven’t been married, but if ever, I’ll invite those closest to me.
LikeLike
If I ever get married I think the smaller, the better with regards to both the reception and ceremony. In my part of the world there’s no such thing as a guest list. Weddings are obligated to consist of at least two ceremonies – one at the groom’s parents house and the other at the bride’s. Everyone is invited whether family, friend, neighbour or curious stranger who saw the celebration as they passed by. I’ve never been a can of that and think things are best kept intimate. Maximum 100 guests so I guess 2am friends will be a must.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi. What part of the world are you in? Hey, no guest list is pressure free! If it didn’t cost me anything to feed them I might go for it. And of course, if my husband had cultural traditions that were important I would follow them.
LikeLike
I’m from South Africa. Well you have to feed them so it gets quite pricey. Relatives and neighbours start showing up from two days before they event to two days after and you have to feed and supply all of them with alcohol or else it’s a scandal. I’m actually hoping I meet a girl who doesn’t follow tradition heavily because I don’t think I can do it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. Yea that sounds expensive. Great for people who love a party. Fun for the wedding party too I suppose. Good luck to on finding a girl who will go the nontraditional route. Separately, I was just watching a documentary the other day by Idris Elba. He made most of it in South Africa. Recorded an album in tandem with the Mandela movie. I really enjoyed it. He’s so easy on the eyes. I’m hoping to make it to your continent (Ghana, specifically) next year.
LikeLike
Looking back on my old posts. You’re married now!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha and you know what’s funny, our wedding was super small. Only 30 guests. Guess past me had the right idea
LikeLiked by 1 person
You stayed true to what you wanted with a partner who was on the same page, which is great.
LikeLike