Hi guys! Please help me answer this question from one of my readers:
[In a relationship, marriage, or even as a single person], Should you chose what’s “right” — or what feels good when it comes to your emotional well being? Said another way — would you do something that is considered morally wrong as long as it makes you happy?
If you could chime in, I’d really appreciate it. Examples are helpful as well. Have you ever been torn along similar lines? Thanks.
Magic ›
Categories: Advice
It depends on the morality level. This is a very difficult question.
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True. Because people have different moral compasses.
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This is a question which plaques most of us at some point in our lives. For me, I have always taken the moral route, never wanting that bitch Karma to come at me. But, ironically, now that I have reached a certain age, I feel that my moral compass has left me craving the excitement and rush that comes with living on the other side of right. So, depending on what or who it is, I find myself taking those risks and sometimes doing things that I know are wrong, but wanting to enjoy life and live in the moment, dappling in in immorality.
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Good response! I hear you. You sound like “look here, I’m doing me!” But still weighing the risks and deciding. Thanks.
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Most people in a relationship should set out to do whats right….. But temptation is a mother and for some people what will make them happy at the moment outweighs doing the right thing.
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This is hard because everyone wants to be happy but at what price and who’s happiness.
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Agreed. Thanks.
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That’s true. Over time, the mind can wander. It’s always key to find that balance between doing “right” and being “happy.” Luckily, we can have and be both – it takes work tho.
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This will vary from situation to situation. We often choose what makes us feel good but the choices we make are not made for the way we feel. Itās a good thing if youāre not hurting other people, but to do something intentionally that you know is wrong is not good.
If I was single and have no interest in commitmentā¦ā¦.Yes
If I was single but in loveā¦..No
If youāre marriedā¦.you better choose whatās right
We do a lot of things that makes us happy but to do something just because it makes you feel good is risky.
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I agree. Thanks. The thing that makes you feel good AND goes against your moral compass tends to come with unwanted consequences.
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I think choosing what’s right is probably the most reliable choice. If we use valid reasons, such as emotional well being, that’s fine and well, but we can also convince ourselves that our emotional being is at stake in order to satisfy what feels good.
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Well said. We can convince ourselves of anything really.
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Well you know how I was raised. No I would not. If I love the person then I would not do that to them. What about their heart and feelings? Work it out.
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My thing is that you always want to do what is right. Of course that’s easier said than done. I think your emotional well being is tied to doing what is right. You always want to be fair in the game. If you’re in a failing relationship, you want to first try to work it out but you can only do so much. Same thing with a marriage. Marriage is a little more difficult because it’s harder to just walk away. I would think long and hard before I did anything. Sometimes the hard choice needs to be made. This is very basic advice. Of course a more specific question will bring a more specific answer.
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You’re right. That’s part of the challenge in maintaining or creating rewarding situations whether it be relationships, career, etc. Working thru difficult times — or moving on.
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I have leaned towards doing what’s “right” with the thought that, in the end, my happiness will work itself out…but sometimes that line is so thin! This is a difficult question because it’s easy to justify any path taken…ugh.
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Very true. I think a question like this could even be considered “looking for justification.” Depends on how you look at it.
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