One thing you cannot do is put your hands around my neck in a choking fashion.
Don’t pull my damn hair either. I don’t care if I’m wearing braids, weave, or an afro.
And for the men who like to cum on people’s faces, don’t do that shit either.
This is all per my behind-the-scenes discussion with fellow blogger Reema, who writes about game for men and other topics. He believes
“all women like rough sex or sex where they’re being dominated – although rough can mean different things to different people.”
My view is that it depends on the woman’s willingness and ability to submit to her partner. And how much she trusts him or her.
And still, in any case, don’t fucking choke me.
(Sidenote: I once choked this guy back – on a 15 minute delayed reaction. He was like “WTF!?” Um, yea!)
*************
Do you think all women like to be dominated in the bedroom? Why or why not? Under what conditions? Is that considered good ole fashioned love-making?
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I’ve never met a woman who liked to be choked in bed. I think that some men’s interpretation of their own passion manifests itself in a rough way, as if all of this emotion can’t otherwise be expressed.
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Well thank you for confirming my suspicions. Lol. I know a woman who does like it, along with hair pulling, but most women?? That I don’t know.
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I remember reading an interview with a musical conductor years ago and he commented that so many rock guitarists go through so many gyrations on stage, and he believed that it was due to their inability to communicate the music that was in them, so it came out in other ways. Maybe sex is like that, too.
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That’s interesting. I feel like men who prefer that have underlying negative attitudes toward women – although that’s not Necessarily the case. Different things turn different people on sexually, and everything is not for everybody.
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I agree with you. There’s something there that’s negative towards women. I find that sex should be – or should I say that I prefer it to be – sensual but intense – never violent. Just not my thing.
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My sentiments too.
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No, I don’t think ALL women like to be dominated in the bedroom. It really just depends on their personality. I’m more laid back but sometimes find myself turned on by some form of domination (nothing too drastic though). Lol
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I hear that! Lol. There’s definitely levels to it. Thanks for chiming in.
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IM a woman that likes to be dominated in the bedroom but getting choked to me isn’t domination it’s just crazy. When I say dominated I just mean I like my man to take control and let me roll with his desires. That goes to what u stated bout trust, you gotta trust he’ll bring you no harm just pleasure. 🙂
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Yes! I think that’s the key point – Trust and intimacy. But men will try even in casual situations. Who wants a stranger choking them? Well, plenty of people I guess. But nah… even outside of sex, you’re willing to go that extra mile with someone you trust.
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I love to be dominated in the bed room big turn on to me. I liked to be gently choked too also a turn on
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Ok, we have one in favor! Lmao. Cant knock it. Thanks for your honesty. 🙂
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I like being dominated in the bedroom too, I’m not sure why though – I think it’s just my kink but I also have certain boundaries not to be crossed and if they are then he gone. Respect and trust is really important in Dom/Sub relationships.
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Thanks for chiming in. I feel the same as far as trust and respect. That determines how far you’re willing to go, etc – within established limits. Wrestling is ok, but choking is not! Lol.
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I am with you on the no choking too lol.
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I really hate when people say all women this or all men that. Even if most are all one thing, that does not mean that every one is. I talk about this a lot when it comes to physically strength or nurturing children. Just because most men are physically stronger than women doesn’t mean a woman can’t be just as strong or stronger than a man. Just because most women are more nurturing to children doesn’t mean a man can’t be just as nurturing if not more.
But, when it comes to sex, I don’t think there is any one way one gender or the other likes it. What a person enjoys in sex is probably as unique as their relationship. In my experience, both men and women enjoy being dominated to a certain extent. While there are people out there who get off on pain, I’d think those people are in the minority. I would never want my hair pulled or my neck choked. That sounds like the opposite of enjoyable.
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Well said “what a person enjoys in sex is probably as unique as their relationship.” Certain things you’re open to trying/doing with some, and others not, depending on things like trust, intimacy, kinks, respect, etc. For me, it’s just always better when there’s a meaningful connection. That doesn’t matter to some. And yes, I’m with you as far as over generalizations.
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When talking to a general audience you make general statements. Whether it’s all women, some women, most women or just women it’s always going to be a general statement.
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Like I said before, being dominated is all about balance. Some women will like it a little more rough than others. You can still lightly choke and lightly pull some hair. It’s easy to say you don’t like something but we all know things change in the heat of the moment.
I don’t think trust or a connection is really a big factor because you’re already sleeping with them. You had to have some type of connection to give it up. Physical or mental attraction something is there.
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“You can still lightly choke…” lol. I can’t stand that ish! I can safely say. Things can change in the heat of the moment, but the type of sex you enjoy probably doesn’t vary THAT much between partners. You may settle something else, or give someone some leeway, but I can’t see drastically changing preferences.
I disagree with you on the trust factor. There’s levels to trust and there’s levels to intimacy. Some people have one night stands with people they meet in bars, etc. Two consenting adults can do what they please. But essentially they’re strangers. It’s hard for me to fathom letting a stranger choke me, but It’s not my thing to begin with. I think a woman who would do that is in the minority.
But sidenote: I think wrestling is ok, but not hitting or choking. Lollll
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Yes they’re strangers but something has to be there for them to have sex. Even if it’s a one night stand. Like you said you don’t like choking so we can’t use that.
haha @ wrestling
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Lol
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Also, as I said, it depends on her willingness and ability to submit. That takes a degree of trust. And even then, some women (even feminine women) just aren’t submissive.
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I hear that. I don’t deal with women who aren’t submissive and I always tells guys not to do the same. Just not worth it.
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Well there you go. And then there’s levels to submissiveness. 🙂
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well 100% then is all I go for
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I got you. “To each his own” 🙂
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LOL! This post “woke me up”. Yeah people are different but I’ve heard some things in my day. I thought I was pretty open until one day I was at this sex talk event (my friend’s brilliant idea to market his erotic fiction…it worked) and some woman said she loved being choked. I was like WHAT?!
In that same convo (which was co-ed) some admitted to liking role play, some like it rough (to different degrees of course), some like it in public, etc. Like everything else different strokes for different folks…hey I’m not judging 🙂
I was in my early 20s then, but I still don’t like it being choked. But umm, I’m actually ticklish around my throat area…how’s that for weird?
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Lol. Wow. Yes. Different strokes for different folks. I didn’t know choking was so popular (meaning guys just automatically try it) until recent years. I’ve heard its due to too much porn.
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I’ve met several women who thoroughly enjoyed being choked. However, it is a matter of discretion.
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Yes, it is. Everything ain’t for everybody.
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In my mind, hardcore, rough sex is usually indicative of an aggressive personality that has no other outlet. Of all the women I know – platonic or otherwise – there’s not but one or two who enjoy choking, et. al. Most, however, aren’t entrenched in the BDSM scene. Experimentation, light domination … sure … but to willingly submit to some dude pulling that kind of mess is not exactly cool.
Whatever floats your boat and different strokes for different folks, obviously … but repressed aggressiveness manifesting itself first into fantasy and then actual application? (shakes head) Nah. The level of trust and submission required for hardcore BDSM is very rare and most just don’t enjoy it.
Just my thoughts … (shrugs)
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Hey, thanks for chiming in. Definitely agree regarding comments on BDSM and trust/ submission. A different level than light choking or light hair pulling.
As far as the aggressive personality, I’ve always felt more that men who automatically go for your throat (without asking if you’re into that, or without the woman literally asking “can you choke me?”) — have some negative, underlying aggression or views toward women. They have a need to constantly show who’s in control (when it comes to women) in and out of the bedroom.
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Interesting topic, I think some women likes to be dominated with a trusted partner or lover.
I was had a Russian lover, a few years ago. She was a few years older than me and only likes black men because we are more dominant in bed.
She never dated a Rastaman and was attached to by creative side which we both have a passion for the arts.
She was very sexual, at any given moment she wanted to make love, she very submissive also.
I remembered the if time she ask me to put a belt around her neck while doing oral sex while using the end to spank her. I was very surprise by her request, I pause and thought it could be dangerous, but she insisted. She took my belt off, placed it around her neck, handed the rest to and said “here Daddy, I’m your good girl now”
She knew after a month of making love that she could trust me and wanted me to dominate her in every possible way. She loved every moment and was more turned on by my domination. This was a first for me.
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Wow. Nice story. You got me thinking about the male perspective on this now. I’ve had several men tell me about getting these requests from women. What makes one comply, versus saying no? (Just questions for self. Lol) Sounds like you were open to the dom/sub role and enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. I might have to write a follow-up now.
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Hmmm, I complied because she requested, it seems like a manly thing to do once she said that she can trust me. It was a creative dominance that was curious try even once, to be called “Daddy” sounded very hot when ur partner is very submissive. “I love it :-)”
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Well thanks. This is the first explanation I got as far as a man’s motivation to comply for the first time. Many just assume it’s ok to just choke someone because ALL women like it. In her case, it was definitely more than light choking though.
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I love to dominate someone when I know I am putting it on them but I don’t see the point of choking someone unless either you are a serial killer/rapist or acting out some bad guy fantasy. To each their own. I remember my uncle once told me a woman asked him to punch her in the stomach in the middle of sex so she could cum. Wtf? Lol!
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Lol. She liked pain. Well if you read the comments, plenty of men and women like the choking thing. I can relate to domination, but not so far as choking. Just no.
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I am a huge fan of BDSM and I’m generally submissive. I’ll dom if my boyfriend ever asked for it (he has dabbled in the past to a certain degree with his exes) and has often said if I want to dominate, I should go a head and discuss where his lines are etc. like we did for me. However, I don’t get much from domination and my boyfriend doesn’t get much from being dominated. We’re both impartial to it. (Just to point out that he is respecting, where we stand etc. and such, he would let me choke him if I so wished!)
Anyway, I am definitely more into being dominated than he likes. He definitely likes to choke people, something he learned with his ex as she loved it and asked him to do it (he didn’t initiate it). We discussed it in the context of me right at the beginning of us some years ago, as he knew I had an abusive ex (note: after I found I liked being submissive, and so my BDSM love doesn’t come from that (I always get asked this)) and wanted to know my opinions. I told him what I love: bondage, spanking, hair pulling, and a lot of other things varying from pretty soft BDSM to more hardcore stuff. My two things never to do: choking and slapping of my face.
However, whilst I still believe the latter to be horrible (for me, if you get off to it then fair enough), but one day, several years in, I just wanted to try it. He wouldn’t so we continued on, and afterwards we discussed it as he was afraid of triggering me, or that I was only doing it as he likes it. Now we do it every now and then and I really enjoy it, but I have to ask for it explicitly. Obviously, there is ALWAYS consent (usually with me asking for a more BDSM session than a vanilla one haha!) but anyway. Those are my thoughts on it 🙂 if you like it, you like it. If you don’t then you should have this talk fairly early on in your sex life with someone. Most girls I know get choked via asking for it rather than the other way round.
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In the latter paragraph, I meant that we occasionally do ‘choking’ not slapping btw!
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Hi! Thank you for such a well thought out response. It’s timely. I’m going to use it as a topic of discussion in a “new” situation. You’re right. Communication and respect for boundaries are part of the foundation for any healthy relationship – BDSM included. I’m still not a fan generally, but I’d be open-minded under proper circumstances.
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2016- um, if you choke me or hit me too hard I’m gonna defend myself by fighting you. Being violent is not a turn on for me. I dont evendors want to hear you say certain things either. . Lol, I don’t know how I got to this…something that you posted today about circumcision lmbo
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Lol. Thank you for chiming in! Yes, I so agree. Choking triggers a “fight” response in me too. No thank you!
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