I met this guy who tells me at least five times a day that I’m controlling. I say, if he can’t handle it, doesn’t appreciate it, or feel that my character is too flawed – he should have several seats.
Basically, I lost patience with him. Told him, “run when you see big red flags.” (And if you’re hell-bent on getting to know me, take it down about ten notches.)
Because I’ll tell you what. I won’t let ANYONE aggravate the hell out of me if I can control it by giving them the axe. Bye!
This is not a denial about my bossiness.
(There’s a certain type of man that makes me melt. It ain’t him.)
Choose your friends and relationships carefully. If you find yourself constantly complaining about someone you just met, reconsider giving them a role in your life.
Who needs stress and aggravation?
My Female Persuasion 
Like you said, you will get in line for the right dude. Unfortunately, a lot of men are just not ready to be leaders so they tell women they’re controlling. If he stepped to you on some leadership shit, you wouldn’t be controlling. You’re only going to get what you allow.
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Exactly. I told him that and his rebuttal was a bible quote. Lol. He’s insecure and overly critical. Yet, criticizes basic chicks. Um, make up your mind about what you can handle.
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hahahahahaha @ bible quotes
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Sigh. Ok, you understand the stress! Whack. Lol
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Insecure men try to chop you down versus build you up. If you’re not careful, they will suck the life right out of you. Crazy.
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True! I always tell woman a man will either bring you up or down. Never anything in between.
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Amen. I can attest to that. Believe it or not, some women have never experienced that upliftment and motivation from a man. So they settle. Never that. It’s mutual – ideally you both bring out the best in one another. And you just recognize that your life is better because they’re in it.
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Only a weak man can say a woman is controlling. It takes a certain kind of man to be with a strong/independent woman and if you are in your feelings all of the time about me “being controlling” you are worried about the wrong thing mister hmph. I agree with “The Reemachronicles” 100%.
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Yes girl. He got the axe. Was definitely in his feelings. My take is that he is insecure and emotionally abusive. I’m not here for that sh^t. If you’re bringing out the worst in me (feeling to cuss you out), we can’t be friends. I’m choosy. Nexxtttttt!!!
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Why are men sooo weak now-a-days? That is just ridiculous! I guess they want us to be the “anything you say baby” type. Tuhh not up in here!
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Yea, he asked me why I can’t just agree with him rather than bickering. I’m obviously not his type, but physically he was really into me. I’m working on a post about emotional abuse. He showed signs. Punk arse! And people wonder why I’m single. Low tolerance!
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I need to be single becuase I have had it with my bf being weak. That is not going to fly! I can’t wear the pants and the skirt at the same time. You damned if you do or don’t with men. I am looking forward to your emotional abuse post!
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Thanks girl! Hopefully you can work it out. People get set in their personalities/ ways though.
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Always!
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Have you talked to your dude about this?
I think a lot of men right now just don’t value themselves as men. They have been taught so long to be submissive to their woman. Also, a lot of women complain about this but go after men who will suck up to them.
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I dont want a man to suck up to me by any means. I like him a little rough around teh edges but also respectful and does what needs to be done. I HATE soft men and my bf is becoming softer by the day. I cant deal and we have had toooo many talks about this.
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Do you guys live together? I would need to know more to try and help you guys. Just a quick background on why you think he’s getting softer by the day.
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We do live together. But he is always up under me and wants to go everywhere with me and being clingy and never want to go out with his friends just me and my friends. He wasnt like that at first he was the protector type. he would put me in my place if need be. Now I cant get him to defend hisself.
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hahaha @ always wanting to hang out with you and the girls. ok that’s not a good look. Why does he say that he doesn’t want to hangout with his friends?
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There could just be a trust/ insecurity issue. I had a guy tell me he liked to do everything together – errands, grocery shopping, all leisure activities. He also expressed that his biggest concern was his woman looking at other men and/ or cheating. I knew he wasn’t for me. That would drive me bananas. A conversation about trust might be in order. He obviously cares about his woman.
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He want to make sure I’m not doing nothing i don’t have any business doing
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I guess the trust talk is needed….sounds like you’re right. Single life coming soon.
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Lol maybe stay tuned
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Reema, I think some women think it’s cute in the beginning – being able to say “girlllll, he’s going crazy for me. He’ll do anything I say, etc.” But that gets old when you realize you have a complacent man who is creating more work for you because you’re expected to meet his needs and take care of household issues, decisions, etc while he’s chilling. Next thing you know, you have a grown ass child to nurture. That is highly unsatisfying. I know I have a dominant personality, which is why I need someone I can’t walk all over. But it takes a man who is secure in who he is and can balance out my qualities and make me better – versus him being a bitch.
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No I get that part. What you’re saying makes sense. Personally, I don’t have a dominant personality. I’m very laid back. What works for me is that I know when to turn it up and become cold when I have to.
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Become cold? Ugh!!! Hard to believe you don’t based on our conversations. I can’t see you laying down like a doormat, but you know you don’t need to constantly try to assert authority to get what you want because you laid the groundwork. Ideally communication and understanding should take precedence in any strong relationship.
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Maybe I do? I’m not a rah rah type of guy. I don’t yell or scream. Even when I get into disagreements with wifey, I’m very calm and just say what I need to say without raising my voice. I know what I bring to the table so I don’t take any bs. I don’t do disrespect, male friends or even dancing with other dudes. I guess that makes me dominant.
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Um yea. LOL. You don’t ever have to yell and still have a dominant personality. I’m not rah rah either, but every woman has a bit of crazy in them. And plenty of men have told me that I look intimidating or like I don’t take bs. Welp!
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Is that a double standard? Do u have fem friends?
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Nah I don’t have any female friends. I know what male friends means. Those are just guys that want to hit. Even if your don’t look at them like that, they definitely look at you like that.
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Yea, we’ve had this conversation. I have a couple who wouldn’t, but most men would.
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