PART I

My first instinct was to send her a picture of her husband’s penis, but then I discovered that I deleted those text messages as soon as I received them. I had no use. (Just being honest.) Or pictures of him laying on the beach in speedos. But I thought better of the gesture itself — because  I really hate drama and haven’t seen her  so-called “husband” in months.

Before I blocked his number (and HER, assuming his bitch ass was allowing her to use his phone), I did respond that he performs oral sex well and did a great job of taking me on an all-expense paid luxury vacation. (The oral sex part was a lie. Never happened, but since she texted me calling me as a Bitch , hey…)

When you contact someone for the sole purpose of cursing them out or starting some shit, you need to be prepared to hear potentially disturbing things.

PART II

I wrote Part I a month ago, but hadn’t really thought of a way to bring the piece home. And since it’s such a big issue (men being cowards and bitches), I thought it needed more attention. So, it sat in my ‘drafts.’

And then this happened today.

I was busy working from home (if you’re in the New York City area, you know we had a snowstorm) and my phone answers itself and I hear a woman saying “hello, hello” on speakerphone. (My phone is doing this crazy thing – when someone calls it automatically picks up and puts the caller on speakerphone.)

Anyway, I was in the kitchen talking to my daughter – I don’t know – about Beyoncé or something. I’m caught off guard when she says “Um, do you know Travis Williams?” Yes, fake name, but I’m wondering if this guy used me as a reference for something, or if an AIDS clinic is contacting me because I may have been a potential partner. In hindsight, that doesn’t make any sense because I never slept with the man!!

“I’m his long-time girlfriend and I just wanted to know if you’re dating him. I’m sorry to catch you off guard.”

PAUSE

I hate getting these kind of phone calls. First of all, I’m not dating this guy. We went out a few times two summers ago, and I wrote about him in this piece – Ladies: Our Male Friends Have Motives. He was the passive 49-year old. Every once in a while we talk on the phone, mostly about our kids applying to college since they’re both seniors in high school. And occasionally, he takes me to lunch since we work in the same area. We never talk relationships, which is weird. (He told me today that he never broached the topic because he saw me as a potential relationship and didn’t want to bring it up and create awkwardness. What kind of bitch-statement is that?)

The girlfriend kept saying “I’m his long-time girlfriend. And I just trusted him. I never go through his things or show up at his house unannounced – because, because, I trust him unless he gives me reason to believe otherwise.”

So I say, “Well if you think you’re in a relationship with him, he’s the one you need to talk to because I don’t know you. I’m not going to confirm anything with you or give you any information.”

I was nice to her. Of course, I prodded further and asked what prompted this sudden lack of trust in him.

“Well like I said, I trusted him and I never show up unannounced. But – this particular day, I showed up and – and I walked in on him. I walked in on him with someone else.”

I let her talk for a while (hey, I had a story to write about cowards and bitches) and then basically ended the call with her and said good luck.

This coward ass mother fucker. (Excuse my French.) I waited like an hour to call him so I could hit him with the “Hey, YOUR LONG-TIME GIRLFRIEND JUST CALLED ME,” all cool, calm and collected. Hehe.

Travis went into defense mode: “Well, let me tell you what happened!” And then he backtracked to apologize because I was silent. He was like “Hello?”  I was like “Yea, I’m here.”

Just to fill you in, the first or second time we went out, we were walking in the Times Square area of New York after dinner and saw this woman who he introduced as a friend. Given the level of shade the woman and her girlfriend were throwing, I knew there was MORE to that story. But I didn’t care because I had just met dude.

This is the SAME girl (Raquanda) who was sleeping in his house when his girlfriend dropped by. Women’s intuition is a bitch. This SAME girl saw him out holding hands with his current girlfriend and he explained away “oh, the woman you saw me with is just a friend.”

I won’t go in on Raquanda’s insecurities because the piece isn’t about her, but DAMN.

Things hit the fan and Raquanda told current girlfriend that she and Travis were having an intimate relationship. Then the two women exchanged phone numbers to get better acquainted.

Current girlfriend’s biological clock is ticking because she’s 46 and wants to have her first child.

Is 40 The New 25?

Situations like this make me happy that I’m single! The drama! I’ve been thinking lately that one of the reasons I’m still single is that I don’t care enough. You call, you call. You don’t, you don’t. But with all the lying and dishonesty going on, I would be remiss to give my heart to someone JUST for the sake of changing my status. Ain’t gonna happen.

I can’t stand passive men. Those are the ones who disappear without explanation, lie about being a relationship, have other women call your damn phone, etc. The ones who aren’t upfront about their intentions and are inconsistent. The men who help make babies and refuse to support them. I could go on and on.

Travis wasn’t courting me, and supposedly when we went out two summers ago, he hadn’t met his current girlfriend yet. He never saw me as a woman who was loose, or readily available just for sex and he respected that. But um, as I said to him “not bringing up the topic of relationships because I have good potential and you don’t want to ruin it is just weird. I would never want to be in a relationship with you if there was no open communication as a friend.”

I let him have it and wished him the best of luck. He admitted he’s a weak man – and then had the nerve to ask for my advice on the situation. Tuh! I told him passivity is his downfall.

Um yea. “Don’t ever give another women my phone number to call me. Or let her go through your phone and knowingly allow her to write my number down. If I have a relationship with YOU, and not her – that is the ULTIMATE form of disrespect. And if she calls me again, I will tell her something she doesn’t want to hear.”

I’ve been THAT woman, who called another woman too.

But anyway, Ladies: beware of cowards and bitches.

Men: the best game is honesty, believe it or not.

*************

Have you ever been in a situation where another man or woman called you to confirm details about their cheating partner? How did you handle it? What would you have done if you were in my situation today? Would you have just calmed her fears by telling her you had nothing going on with her man? 

Categories: Advice, Dating Stories, Personal Stories, Rants

Tags: Bitch Ass Men, Breaking Up With Boyfriend, Cheating in Relationships, Cowardly Men, Dating, dating games, Dating Standards, Ex-Boyfriends, girlfriend, Infidelity, Pet Peeves About Dating, Reflections, Relationships, Separation, Single Life, Weak Men, Why Men Are Cowards