Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.
–Anne Lamott (excerpt from bird by bird).
I randomly opened this book to page 28 this morning (the chapter on Perfectionism), and knew somehow that it applied to my writing life, or to me in general. I write a lot – every day in fact, mostly about relationships (dating, single life, romance, etc.) and less about the emotional pain and struggles that have shaped my life. I don’t know if I really have to write about that, although it’s compelling stuff – or if that has anything at all to do with perfectionism. Maybe not.
But wait, as a single woman, I do expect the men I encounter to meet a set of high standards. Or maybe they’re not so high. Basic conversation isn’t a lot to ask. And what about stalker tendencies? There you have it – current struggles.
*No Stalkers Please!! – The Date That Never Happened.
Related articles
- Anne Lamott On Coming Back After Tragedy (onpoint.wbur.org)
- “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts” (gointothestory.blcklst.com)
Categories: Blogging, Inspiration, NaBloPoMo, Random Thoughts
My Female Persuasion 
What’s up with you and these high standards? Lower the bar. But if part of it is just wanting to have good conversations, then that should go without saying. Nowadays though, just requesting good convo may seem like looking for too much.
LikeLike
Lol. That’s pretty sad when good conversation is asking too much. You’ve read my posts. You know my standards aren’t way too high. I was exaggerating! Lol. Omg, I have a story about this guy I almost went out with. (Interracial). Gonna write it today.
LikeLike
Sounds good! Can’t wait to hear that story/field report. Curious as to why it “almost” happened (going out). Oh, and your standards are very high! The highest of any woman I ever met via the web and in person 😦
LikeLike
Lol. Really??? That’s pretty funny Kenny. Oh, he thought he had a special pass to talk about black women. You know we can’t have that.
LikeLike
Lol just last night while lying down, I said to myself, “If there were 1 white guy I would give a pass on using the n word without a care- who would it be”? I literally pondered that last night, so it’s so ironic you’re talking about passes on talking about black women.
And what is his background?
LikeLike
Chinese.
LikeLike
Wow! I never actually heard of a sister dating a Chinese. So the stereotype must be wrong then that Asians only date Asians and whites.
LikeLike
Kenny everyone dates everyone – if they want to. I’ve only dated brothers. That’s another post! Loll. Ooh great idea.
LikeLike
Very interesting quote today! I need to take some time to digest it, I think! Perfectionism can be a good thing but if it holds you back from trying something because you think it will not be perfect than I think it is getting in the way of progress. Just a thought!!
LikeLike
I agree. I think it holds me back from being spontaneous at times. If someone asks me out last minute and my nails aren’t done, I’m like “OMG, my nails aren’t done!” When surely if someone is asking me out, my nails probably aren’t a factor. Lol.
As far as writing, I don’t think I strive for perfection. Whenever I show up to the page, something comes out. Thanks for reading!
LikeLike