“Can you send me a pic?”
HELL NO! I’m really aggravated by this stupid request I get from guys. All the time. Via text message.
I’m almost out of ways to respond nicely. But what I’m REALLY tempted to ask is “what the fuck do you need a damn picture of me in your phone for? You seen me in person, right? And you anticipate seeing me again right?” Well, ok.
I mean, if I’m REALLY into a guy (or have known him long enough to give him special privileges) I’ll just start posing and sending pics – and still – most likely I won’t send anything too provocative. And especially nothing provocative with my face in it with in it! (And yes, I know sending “nudes” is the norm among certain sets these days.) I’m very photogenic and have no problem taking pics (as long as my hair and makeup are done. Lol.) But for Pete’s sake, leave me the hell alone.
Don’t get me wrong. My line of thinking isn’t that dudes just wanna jerk off to my pics. I think it’s more of an ego boost to have women’s pictures stored in their phones for convenient browsing, (or using their bright imaginations), or bragging to friends. And if the woman is beautiful and or voluptuous, all the better.
But I still think it’s tacky – because in all my single/ dating days, just about EVERY man asks. And goddamnit, it’s annoying. The request usually comes within a week after a first date – never more than that. Way too soon to expect special privileges. I mean, I went out with you, right? Okay, take that as an honor.
For instance, I got this lame message last week from a guy I hung out with once: “If you have a recent pic, may I have one please?”
My response: “I loathe that request, because every guy asks. I prefer to send when I’m motivated to. Talk to you tomorrow.”
He apologized.
I mean, duh.
FELLAS, here’s a tip: If you want to set yourself apart from the pack, one simple thing you can do is refrain from asking for pictures. That “Can you send me a goodnight picture?” request is whack as hell, and it’s unwelcome. Wait until she’s feeling you. She’ll start posing. Trust me.
And while we’re at it, scrap this question too: “Are you on Facebook?” My answer is always “yes.” And my follow-up response is “I use it for close family and friends.” And for the pesky ones “I prefer to get to know men outside of social networking.” So what. They’re only interested in looking at pictures anyway.
Well that’s my rant for the day, but if anyone could shed more light on guys fascination with having a bunch of women’s pictures in their phones, I would appreciate it.
LADIES, do you have this experience as well? Dudes always asking you to send pics? Do think that request is flaky as hell coming from someone you barely know, or am I being harsh?
While we’re at it, feel free to comment on other pet peeves you have about today’s dating game.
Related articles
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- Should You Friend Your Date on Facebook (www.sheknows.com)
- Texting With Someone Who Wants To Date You Vs. Someone Who Only Wants To Hookup With You (thoughtcatalog.com)
Categories: Advice, Inspiration, Personal Stories, Random Thoughts, Rants
My Female Persuasion 
hahaha @ good night picture. When I was in the dating game, I would ask women for pics and they would always send them. Even nudes without me asking. You have to wrap everything else up with good game. You can’t just ask for a picture. If she’s feeling you she will send a picture.
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Exactly. But right out the gate, I’m typically not feeling anyone that much! Lol. And generally, I guess game ain’t wrapped too tight. Haha. Thx Reema.
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those lines are lame. i think you should know who to ask and who not to ask. if i met you yesterday, no. if we have been talking for 6 months or so, maybe.
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Agreed. Even I would oblige after six months. But why do you think 99% of men ask?
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they ask because they want to see but more importantly what is the punishment for asking. is it something worth still asking anyway. i guess kenny got it right by suggesting it’s the art of asking as i have never been rejected either but it is what it is
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Because they want to see? No punishment for asking. Just a “no.” Lol. Maybe this is the new norm.
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Just like Reema, I would always get pics too when I ask. I guess it’s an art of asking :)?
But I get the point overall and I would say timing is key also. A guy would randomly ask for a pic without leading up to it.
If I’m texting with a girl and the convo naturally leads to pics, then I’d ask for a specific shot.
But if we’re talking about Sesame Street, it’ll be so awkward to request pics.
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Lol. Kenny, you are silly. Maybe part of it is asking, but a bigger part is probably whether or not she’s feeling you or knows you. Or whether she just wants/likes the attention or the fact that you’re asking. I’m still more likely to send to a guy I already like – who isn’t asking. Just me! But like I said, if you’re having no problem, maybe the majority of women will oblige. I don’t know.
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Well make her feel you. That should be the guy’s job. I’m of the opinion that every girl feels me. As long as I have a form of communication for her; she’s feeling me. It might not be the case, but that’s the mentality to have.
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I hear you. If you’re making her feel you, and getting good cooperation (as Reema would say), you’re heading in the right direction and picture messages will only be the tip of the iceberg. (Cliche, cliche…)
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True. You actually inspired me here. I’m gonna make a Youtube video just now entitled: ‘How to get her to send naked pictures”. Thanks.
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I like it. Lol. I still won’t do it, but PLENTY will!
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Kenny is the man
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He’s always on it. 🙂
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This is my biggest pet peeve like why is I’m obligated to send u a pic. Just how many females this guy gettn pics from.. .I don’t do the pic thing anymore cuz frankly they can see all ya pics on ya social network. They think its a private picture that u havnt posted yet. I don’t get it I kno some females or guys have old pics up but my pics are all new the dates say so. I don’t kno what kind of twisted $^^t these men are up too. Leave me outta it. If I feel u trust n believe u won’t have to ask for a pic.
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Thank you for chiming in! Glad I’m not alone! Yes, they feel obligated and it does come across as sleazy. Like you said “how many females are they getting pics from” and why do they need to add mine to the collection. If I’m feeling you, pics are a small thing. But get to work! Lol
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The only thing worse than guys asking for a picture is them asking me to spend the night and usually this is on the first date and they think it’s a compliment. I always wonder how low have we as women degraded ourselves that men can now be so forward? Maybe it’s me but no one and I mean no one will be getting a picture of me. Bugger Off Jerks
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That’s a very good point, especially since the men who commented said they get pictures easily upon request, and I’m sure plenty get away with spending the night on a first date too. In sense, as adults, it really just depends on what you want, but for women who have higher standards, we become the exception and not the norm. I’m perfectly okay (and happy) about that.
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Did I mentioned that I loved your blog? I love your blog. Lol. This was a actually a good piece to read and maybe I’ll do a response to it sometime this weekend.
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Thank you! That’s very kind of you. 🙂 That would be very interesting!
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hahaha women! You can’t have it both ways. You can’t tell men to take it slow when you don’t reward men for taking it slow. This is why I always say women say they want one thing but do the complete opposite. If you’re interested in a guy you will send him pics and sleep with him on the first night. Let’s not pretend
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Lol. Damn Reema! I’m never THAT interested! And honestly, I think a woman is more likely to make a man WAIT when she sees long-term potential in him (don’t wanna seem to easy) and give it up faster for a fling, or someone she doesn’t see herself with long term. (But we know sex and emotions change things!) And some of us stick to what we say!! SN: if I’m still interested after a month, maybe he can get a pic – of my face! Lol
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