Today’s post inspired by —
A long-time girlfriend (19 years) who recently invited me on a trip – NEXT YEAR to Soul Beach Music Festival in Aruba.
As usual, she prefaced her invitation with “it’s really for couples but” and then added you can always bring ‘Danielle’ if you want to.”
I thought to myself – #1, you’re inviting me to a ‘couples only’ event for what? Because you feel guilty about excluding me from your life based on my relationship status? Why bother? One thing I accept is that all relationships have boundaries. If I see you once a year and talk to you five, there’s still no love lost. I accept the limits of our friendship.
And #2, you tell me who to bring – another long-time female friend whom you’ve met once or twice? What if I wanted to bring someone else who your husband might find attractive? Or better yet, a man?
Perhaps I’m going off on a tangent here, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand the dynamic/ shift that occurs when some women get married.
My first thought on women who cut of their single friends after marriage is their actions wreak of insecurity. But there’s more to that.
—Maybe their husbands flirt with their still-single friends (and/or other women) and they have trust issues.
—Maybe they don’t want hubby hanging out with HIS single friends.
—Maybe some women submit to controlling, insecure men who don’t approve of them spending time with unmarried women (or anyone besides them).
Or — on a more positive note, perhaps some couples just feel more comfortable being around people with similar interests – in marriage.
But in that case, don’t bother calling single girlfriends only when you’re upset and ready to hang out and/or creep – or preface all invitations with “this is really a couples event.”
I will also say that being MARRIED doesn’t automatically make a woman happier or better off than the next. In a lot of cases, the unhappily married are more miserable than anything. So quit throwing shade.
Has anyone else experienced this? Do you generally find that married women distance themselves from single women once they tie the knot? Why do you think this is? Have you found that they call you again when their relationship is on the fritz, or when they have some ‘side business?’ Please chime in.
- Relationship Status: Does Having Zero Facebook Friends Mean Zero Friends In My Real Life? (geekosystem.com)